This email is from an actual librarian at a library near my home. She must remain nameless for obvious reasons. I have to say, I’d actually like a book on rabbit psychology myself.
1. Can you tell me who wrote William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet?
2. I want to sign up for your free Microwave word class.
3. Do you have any books on the psychology of rabbits?
4. Is the mall crowded right now?
5. Do you have a biography of Fonzie? My daughter has to write about someone from the 1950s.
6. Do you know the phone number for 9-1-1 ?
7. Who wrote The Diary of Anne Frank?
8. I’m looking for a book that my friend read – all I know is that the cover was blue or green.
9. What is the name of the curly-haired girl who used to be in the Shirley Temple movies?
10. My wife is over there by the copy machine. Would you serve her with these divorce papers?
11. How can I become a saint?
12. Can I get several videos, in case the power goes off?
13. I need a copy of Dante’s Inferno, but I don’t know who wrote it. Was it Kafka?
14. I want a biography of an African American, but don’t give me Abraham Lincoln.
15. I’m looking for the same book I read last year.
16. Where are your books on World War III?
17. What do you call a person who helps students find books and look up articles?
18. Can you turn this black and white photo into a color photo with your color copier?
19. When is “further notice”? (The sign read: “Computer Lab closed until further notice”)
20. I’m looking for the book about that eerie lady. (AKA: Jane Eyre)
21. Will you look up a name for me in the directory of unlisted phone numbers?
22. Can you give me some information on the decimy dual system?
23. How often does ‘Employment Weekly’ come out?
24. Can I see the list of sex offenders in the area who haven’t been arrested yet?
25. If I leave home right now, what time will it be when I get to the library? (A patron, calling from home.)